I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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