yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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