in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
