remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
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When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize