The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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