His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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