Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
