We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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