Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
