what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
