After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
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Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
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its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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