Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
