it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
