He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
