Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
