he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
