I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
