i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
