I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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