Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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