Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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