Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
