I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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