She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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