It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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