; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
