I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
