man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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