Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
