Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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