Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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