you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
