i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
