did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
