My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
