Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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