i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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