Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
