did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
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I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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