apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
