Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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