i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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