If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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