plz talk dirty to me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
