I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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