Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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