i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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