I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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