Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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