What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
