We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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