so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
