dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
