u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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