I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
