sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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