I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
