My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
