Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
