someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she looked like the before picture.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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