I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
