dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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