That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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