honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
