You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she pinky promised me she was 18
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
