Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
