he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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