I want you more than these girls want KFC
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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